Stop Treating Every Thought Like a Fact

I knew a woman who was asked to take the lead on an important project. It was highly visible, complicated, and tied to a major company goal. She saw it as an opportunity to prove herself.

So she did what many capable people do: she took on too much.

She rewrote other people’s work instead of giving feedback. She attended every meeting. She answered questions that could have gone to someone else. When a colleague offered a different approach, she dismissed it.

Thoughts Vs. Facts

Her thinking went something like this:

“If I don’t stay on top of everything, the project will fall apart. If someone else makes a mistake, it will reflect badly on me. This is my chance to show that I am ready for more responsibility.”

Those thoughts felt true. But they weren’t facts. They were interpretations shaped by pressure, ambition, and fear.

The observable facts were different:

She had been asked to lead the project, not personally complete every part of it. Her teammates had useful experience. Some of their ideas were better than hers. The more she stepped in, the less ownership they took.

By trying to become the hero of the project, she unintentionally became the bottleneck.

Consequences of the Hero Mindset

The project was completed, but at a cost. She was exhausted. Her team felt undervalued. Senior leaders saw that she worked hard, but they also questioned whether she knew how to delegate and develop others.

Being the hero can help your career in the short term. You may be seen as dependable, committed, and willing to do whatever it takes.

But leadership isn't measured only by what you can accomplish yourself.

At higher levels, your performance is measured by whether you can create clarity, use other people’s strengths, and help a team succeed without needing to control every detail.

The turning point for this woman came when she began questioning the story behind her behavior.

Instead of assuming that others needed her to fix everything, she wondered what support they actually needed.

Instead of thinking that she had to prove herself, she wondered what would help the whole team succeed.

So, who was this well-meaning but misguided woman? She was me early in my career trying to climb the ladder.

Your Turn

The next time you feel yourself stepping in, taking over, or carrying more than your share in any situation, pause. Ask yourself:

What do I know, and what am I assuming?

That question won't make you the hero. But it will make you a better leader.

You can do it.

Jo-Aynne Von Born, Leadership/Executive Coach

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Please join me next week for a live Zoom session:

What Do You Know, and What Are You Assuming?

Wednesday, August 19 | 12:00–12:45 ET

This isn't a presentation, and there's no pressure to speak. Come with a question, join the conversation, or simply listen.

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