“Assume the best” sounds nice. Maybe too nice.
If you’re a high achiever, it sounds like soft advice for people who don’t understand pressure, performance, deadlines, difficult personalities, or what it takes to succeed.
But what if assuming the best isn’t naive? What if it's one of the most practical ways to stay calm, confident, and effective under pressure?
Because the truth is, we're always assuming something.
For example, when someone is quiet, we can assume they’re judging us. When someone doesn’t respond, we can assume they’re ignoring us. When feedback hurts, we can assume we’re being criticized. When someone disagrees, we can assume they’re arguing with us. When we walk into a room, we can assume people are evaluating whether we belong.
Then we react to these assumptions as if they were facts.
That’s how so much unnecessary stress begins. Your nervous system doesn’t only respond to what's happening. It responds to the meaning you assume about what’s happening.
So here's the experiment: For the next 7 days, assume the best first.
When you walk into a room, assume people like you and are open to you. Then notice how you enter differently. Do you smile more easily? Make eye contact? Speak with more warmth? Take up a little more space?
When someone is quiet, assume they’re thinking, not judging. Then notice if it's easier to handle the quiet and stop overexplaining, defending, or trying to fill every silence.
When someone disagrees with you, assume they see something you might have overlooked. Then notice whether your curiosity broadens the conversation and gives you more influence than defensiveness does.
When feedback hurts, assume there's something useful inside it. Then notice whether it's easier to separate the truth from the tone.
When someone doesn’t respond to a message, email, or call quickly, assume they’re busy, not rejecting or ignoring you. Then notice whether you have more energy when you stop creating stories without evidence.
This isn’t positive thinking. It’s a strategic interpretation. It’s choosing an explanation that keeps you resourceful until the facts, the real facts, require a different response.
High achievers often pride themselves on being realistic. But realism isn’t the same as suspicion, and preparation isn’t the same as defensiveness. Sometimes what we call “being realistic” is actually rehearsing rejection, criticism, failure, or conflict before it happens.
The cost of doing this is higher than we think. Defensiveness makes us less curious. Fear makes us less present. Suspicion makes us harder to connect with. And the assumption that we’re being judged often causes us to show up in ways that make connection more difficult.
Assuming the best doesn't mean you ignore red flags. It means you stop treating every unknown as a threat.
So, for the next seven days, try this:
- Notice any negative assumptions you’re making.
- Choose a more positive assumption, even if you’re unsure it’s true.
- Act on these new interpretations until something solid tells you otherwise.
Then watch what changes.
You may find that people are easier to work with than you thought. You might be more confident than you realized. And you might discover that success and fulfillment often begin with the story you choose, even before the facts are fully known.
I'll be waiting to hear your findings…
Jo-Aynne
Knowing isn't doing. You can turn insight into action. 👇
Jo-Aynne Von Born, Leadership/Executive Coach
www.readysetmore.com
